Overlook the Obvious

So in the last 14 years I have been constantly going to the doctor being tested trying to find answers to why I keep falling down:
Back in October 2006 is when this really started to scare me. I passed out at work, I was taken away in an ambulance.

They said I had a Syncope episode and was probably dehydrated and sent me home requesting I get checked for epilepsy.

So I went and got checked. NOTHING.

Then I returned to work, getting more and more frustrated, I forgot some things and how to do them. But I taught myself again and got the work done.

However I started getting Headaches every day, all the time. At first I could not function, but as I write this my head hurts, it is a mild pain, that, or I have just gotten used to it.

Passing out and fainting still 2009 I could not handle my job anymore. I went to find a less stressful job and go back to school. I was hopping from Job to Job unable to handle working at any of them. I could not physically and emotionally handle working.

I did accomplish finishing school and getting my Paralegal Certificate and Associates Degree, but if you asked me today to work at a law firm, I can tell you I would not remember how to do half the things I learned. 

I have just decided to stop wasting employers time and to keep my stress level down, I would stop working in an office environment. I finished real estate school so I can do something and take on only as much as I can handle.

But my daily life has become the following:
Get up with drool all over my pillow, and a headache from clinching my jaw all night. If I had a restful night sleep it means I did not wake up with charlie horses in my toes, or shins, and hands.  But I still have to lay in bed and flex my hands and feet until the pin and needles sensations stop. Then I have to sit at the edge of the bed for about three minutes until the dizziness stops and I can actually stand up. But do not get up to quickly or lean because you will still be dizzy.  The I go to the bathroom,  If I did not take fiber the day before, good luck. It hurts so bad to evacuate my body, and then come the hemorrhoids from trying. OUCH!

Now if I have to go out, I get everything done upstairs because going down the stairs takes FOREVER to me now.  So I straighten my hair, get dressed, do my makeup while David Sleeps.
I used to be able to take Lily our Dog for a long morning walk, but now it is so painful and cold. I have "frigid death hands and feet according to my husband"  So I take her to the side of the building she pees and then I immediately take her back inside. 

If I do not write down what I need to do I will forget to do it. I can remember and recall things from my youth. But sometimes I recall things from my dreams now and I think it really happened when it didn't.

I am so easily frustrated these days, if I did not have David to keep me level headed and calm I swear I would be a total basket case.  I feel bad for my husband because I have lost all interest in being physical. It hurts. I get charlie horses and I feel dizzy and lightheaded for days afterwards and I do not like that.   I am on high alert a lot of the time.  But to keep my self active I do brain teasers and games every day. I do yoga (very basic) and I can tell on the days where I do not sit and stretch I feel it.

But for now I have been writing for a while, and I need some rest. I am tired all the time lately, when I am not tired I am nauseated so my energy level is low. So I will finish tomorrow.